Monday, November 12, 2018

Beware the holidays are coming

It has been 5 weeks since I decided my life needed some changes.  Whoa!!  Time is flying by and I still feel like I have barely scratched the surface of my journey.  I suppose that a month is a short time.  I actually worked out a couple days last week.  I know that doesn't sound like much but compared to doing nothing for weeks, walk a half marathon, repeat.  It was a huge improvement.  It felt good too.  I need my brain to keep realizing that it likes moving more than being a slug! 

My favorite half marathon of the year is this weekend!  Route 66 with so many friends will be an awesome time!  I can't wait to spend time with one of best friends next week either! 

I'm already dreading Thanksgiving and my Birthday next week.  All anyone can talk about is food.  I get it.  The entire holiday revolves around food.  It is after all, carbfest on steroids.  Potatoes, pies, bread, stuffing....oh my. 

But people...I'm not changing my diet for one day of binge eating and being miserable.  I was miserable.  Hence the need for change.  I am trying to retrain my brain that food isn't a reward or what every celebration revolves around. 

Sure I want to celebrate (bring on the wine).  Would I love to devour am entire cake on my birthday?  Hell yes.  But I won't!  Instead, I will go see Aladdin and enjoy lunch with my friends.  The key to that sentence is my friends not the food.  I want to spend time with my loved ones and push the food to the background. 

So yes, I will eat more turkey than the average human next week.  I may stare longing at the potatoes and rolls but I know that my journey is more important than consuming those things.

Thank you for all the kind words of support.  It thrills me that y'all are in my corner!  This isn't a solo journey.  You all keep me moving forward.  And hey, I'm down 24.8 pounds!  So there is much to cheer! 

Happy Thanksgiving!  (I seem to be on a 2 week update cycle, LOL)

Weight Week 1 (10/15/18):  326.4
Weight Week 4 (11/5/18):    313.2
Weight Week 5 (11/12/18):  311.4
Total Lost: 24.8

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Settling into a new diet

Hi friends!  I am still here.  Life has been busy and I haven't had the chance to update.

Week 2 went really well.  In a week that is notorious for a lower weight loss, I actually did well with a 5.4 pound deficit.  I am trying to settle into this low carb lifestyle.  I am finding that I really don't miss the bread and potatoes.  I have been trying new foods, hello Brussel sprouts.   I made keto pancakes that actually turned out pretty tasty!  It gives me a nice break from eggs for breakfast.  I having been looking for new recipes and enjoying cooking again.  So if nothing else being on a weight loss journey has me cooking again.  

Week 3 was a different story.  I had my first half marathon since starting this diet to get ready for and not sure how less carbs would effect my performance.  I tried to up my daily count but that was harder than I thought.  Needless to say, I had horrible calf cramps during the race.  That is supposedly a side effect of low card dieting.  I hope my body adapts better before the next race.  Weigh-in on Monday was neither good or bad.  I guess between the race and other factors that a zero loss isn't too bad.

The current week has gone better.  I am finding that I am full longer and not as hungry most of the day.  Recovery from my race was better though.  I am hoping to be back on track with weight loss this week.

My next big goal to find my motivation to exercise.  Work keeps me busy and my love of sleep keeps me from waking up early.  I just need to force myself back to the gym and I know once I am in the habit that I will feel amazing.  I have had more energy thanks to this diet.  I just haven't turned that energy into a routine.  Baby steps.  I know it will happen again.

Weight Week 1 (10/15/18):  326.4
Weight Week 2 (10/22/18):  321.0
Weight Week 3 (10/29/18):  321.0      
Total Lost: 15.2


A couple pictures from The Good Life Halfsy in Lincoln, NE.  Half #58 and State #33
Jamie and I during our half last weekend! 

Our confetti finish for being the last finishers! 

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Finding my inner strength

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” —Ernest Hemingway

I haven't updated my blog since the week before my world came crashing down with the loss of my mother. 

That was a little over 2 years ago.

These past couple of years have been hard.  I lost the person who meant the most to me.  I no longer had to worry about her care or how I was going to juggle all the decisions.  No one needed me.  The roll of a care giver is all encompassing and when it is stripped away from you, when you no longer can identify through someone else's needs, you are lost and broken.  Life has been unbalanced since my mother passed away.  I go through the motions of living without really progressing.  I am trying to fill the void with things that bring me joy and patiently wait for living to take hold of my soul.

Some days are still overwhelming and facing the world takes all my will power but I am moving forward even if it is at a snail's pace.  I know with time that the pain does get easier.  I've been through this before.  Life, as the proverbial saying states, goes on.  

The biggest source of strength and helping to ease the pain has come from my adoptive families and amazing friends.  I am incredibly thankful for the friend's that have taken me into their families and treat me as one of their own.  They have taken over for the people that share my blood and who seem to have forgotten my existence.  I wouldn't have half the strength to keep moving forward without their love, support, and guidance.  I owe them more than words could ever express.  I love you all.

Another major part of trying to heal my soul is my running family and running goals.  I am still chipping away at my goal to run a half marathon in every state.  I am in the countdown mode with 18 states to go!  I have some amazing friends that make these adventures worth all the torture, err I mean fun times!  These ladies are my lifeline and solemates.  I love our crazy adventures and can't wait for all the fun times to come.  

While I am workin on my soul, the rest of me has been sorely neglected.  Since my mom moved into the nursing home in late 2014, I stopped caring what I ate or whether or not I exercised.  Sure I was (and am) doing monthly half marathons, heck I even ran 2 marathons during this stretch, but the rest of the time found me parked in mom's chair being a sloth, munching on something, and snuggled with a pupper.  I was eating to mask the pain and fill the void.  I didn't want to cook for just me.  Stopping for fast food or ordering something was easier.  I watched my weight balloon up (AGAIN) but didn't care.  There was nothing in me that wanted to spark a change.  I was wallowing in sorrow and I deserved that treat.  Fast forward to my last half, it was hot and I was tried of dragging this carcass around.  Tired of (you got it) going through the motions.

I gave myself a week to get all the unhealthy food out of my house (I'm not wasting food so bring on the bread and chicken nuggets).  And on Oct 8th, the 2nd anniversary of mom's death, I started my lifestyle change.  That morning when I stood on the scale and realized I now weighed more than the first time I decided to lose weight, that I was embarrassed.  Embarrassed at what my mother would think, embarrassed that I allowed this to happen, and worst of all embarrassed at who I had become and what the grief had done.  I needed to change.  Change is hard but right now, I need hard.  I need to be hard on myself again and stop making excuses by going through the motions.  This too will help to heal my soul and help me find myself again.

Back in the day when I first lost weight, I decided to stop eating all the white starchy foods (flour, sugar, potatoes, rice, etc).  I lost enough weight that I felt comfortable joining a gym and slowly eating some of these foods again.  Over time, I did great losing more and being at a happy place.  So I am doing this again but using what I learned from the first journey and eating foods that are going to keep me full longer.  I am once again cutting carbs.  I'm not going full on Keto because let's face it, I still want to eat bananas and some other foods that are big no-nos.  But I don't need bread 3 times a day or chicken strips and french fries every day either.  I am picking healthier options.  I am cooking again.

I made it through the first week and almost the second week.  I kept my carbs around an average of 50 grams per day which for me is pretty much shocking my system.  I couldn't even tell you how many carbs I was ingesting per day but I would imagine it was more than the daily recommended amount.

This isn't going to be an easy journey.  The holidays are coming.  They bring with them lots of starchy foods that I will stare longingly at from across the room.  But I need to do this for me.  I need to focus on rebuilding my outside too.

So the blog is making a comeback.  I am making a comeback.  Stay tuned for future installments!

Weight Day 1 (10/8/18):  336.2        (YIKES)
Weight Week 1 (10/15/18):  326.4
Lost: 9.8

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Hurt knee and a half

So I am off to a great start at blogging again...LOL!  I'm a work in progress....

The weekend before last I hurt my knee.  Dr. Google said it was a sprain. I took his word for it. Not sure if it happened while working out (probably should have modified those burpees more) or running after my nephew.  It was probably the exercise.  My nephew is an angel!  I spent that week doing the R.I.C.E method on it and not doing any activity.  I had to have it in less pain for a half marathon.  

Last weekend, I had my first half since June.  I was much slower than ever before.  I want to blame the knee but I know that lack of training and carrying around a small elephant  didn't help the matter.  Thank goodness my friend Kim stayed with me and kept me going when all I wanted to do was ice my knee and stop.  The race was beautiful.  It was in Amish Country and was so fun to interact with the residents!  I knocked out lifetime half #36 and state #17!  I really do love doing these races!!  It made me want to sign up for more. 2017 is starting to get busy! 

I lost 1.8 pounds in week 2.  I gained a little (a pound) when I weighed this Monday for week 3.  I expected it after traveling over the weekend and the monthly love of being a girl.  I am owning it and moving on. 

This week I have taken it easy.  My knee is feeling 80% better.  Since I am not exercising, I am trying to watch my food intake and make better choices.  Again, I am a work in progress and I have to keep at it every day.  I am hoping to head out on Sunday for a short run and test it out.  

Next week, I start a Country Heat challenge.  I am excited for something different to do as a workout.  If you need a laugh, this weekend would be a great time to put a camera in my house.  LOL!  It is going to be a riot!  Gotta keep it fun!  

Until next time!  


Hurt knee and a half

So I am off to a great start at blogging again...LOL!  I'm a work in progress....

The weekend before last I hurt my knee.  Dr. Google said it was a sprain. I took his word for it. Not sure if it happened while working out (probably should have modified those burpees more) or running after my nephew.  It was probably the exercise.  My nephew is an angel!  I spent that week doing the R.I.C.E method on it and not doing any activity.  I had to have it in less pain for a half marathon.  

Last weekend, I had my first half since June.  I was much slower than ever before.  I want to blame the knee but I know that lack of training and carrying around a small elephant  didn't help the matter.  Thank goodness my friend Kim stayed with me and kept me going when all I wanted to do was ice my knee and stop.  The race was beautiful.  It was in Amish Country and was so fun to interact with the residents!  I knocked out lifetime half #36 and state #17!  I really do love doing these races!!  It made me want to sign up for more. 2017 is starting to get busy! 

I lost 1.8 pounds in week 2.  I gained a little (a pound) when I weighed this Monday for week 3.  I expected it after traveling over the weekend and the monthly love of being a girl.  I am owning it and moving on. 

This week I have taken it easy.  My knee is feeling 80% better.  Since I am not exercising, I am trying to watch my food intake and make better choices.  Again, I am a work in progress and I have to keep at it every day.  I am hoping to head out on Sunday for a short run and test it out.  

Next week, I start a Country Heat challenge.  I am excited for something different to do as a workout.  If you need a laugh, this weekend would be a great time to put a camera in my house.  LOL!  It is going to be a riot!  Gotta keep it fun!  

Until next time!  


Monday, September 12, 2016

Hey there bloggersphere it has been a really long time.  I can't believe I haven't posted anything in almost two years.  Oh who am I kidding;  I completely believe it.  My life has been all over the place the last couple of years.  Got a new job, moved mom to a nursing home, ran a couple marathons and a bunch of halfs but then my journey kind of hit a wall.  I stopped caring about myself.  I stopped training.  My diet went to shit (but boy, all those french fries were delicious).  I stopped fighting for myself and my health.  I let my job consume me.  I hung up the running shoes except for an occasional race here or there.  If I am being honest....I gave up.

Fast forward to present day.  I removed myself from a situation that wasn't working and followed my heart to a new job back in a familiar department.  A job with a schedule that allows me to get back on track. I could never get a handle on my old schedule and working "me time" around it.  Maybe I don't adjust well to new curve balls or maybe I am less flexible as I age but I like a "normal" work day!

So how does this relate to moving my journey of running and weight loss forward?

I stood on the scale on Labor Day (it was ugly but more on that below).  I got up and worked out.  I had planned meals on the day before and went grocery shopping.  I grabbed a large black trash bag and de-junked my cabinets and fridge.  I made decisions that would set up my success for the week rather than leaving me scrambling at lunch/dinner time.  I recommitted to MYSELF.

It sucks to be starting over from ground zero....again.  The process toward breaking all those bad habits that resurfaced overnight.  I can't believe that I am back here but I am owning it and moving forward.  It will take effort.  It will push me to do all sorts of things I don't want to do but it will be worth it.

I started the 21 Day Fix (Beachbody) on Monday.  It worked pretty well when I sort of gave it an effort a year or more ago.  I just stopped giving it any effort.  My head wasn't in the right place that time.  This time I am motivated to get back to feeling better about myself.  I ordered a sampler of Shakeology to test it out.  I hate to say that I don't mind the shakes.  I remember tasting it before and hating it.  I may add this in permanently once my sampler week is over.  I stuck to my meals and workouts for the week.  I even ran yesterday.  It wasn't a pretty sight but I put in 3.2 miles and enjoyed the beautiful day we were blessed with.

Now for the ugly part.  I weighed in on 9/5 at 306.4 (gah, when did I get over 300 again?  Damnit).  I weighed in today for week 1 at 298.6.  I lost 7.8 pounds the first week.  Now that the water weight is off, it is time to buckle down!

Week #2 started today both for my journey and my new job!  I am here to tackle them both and find myself again.
     

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Dopey Training: Inspiration

Today I ran my 19th half marathon since I started in Oct 2011.  Next weekend will be a major accomplishment in my running career.  I am super proud to be hitting the 20 half marathon milestone.  Not bad for a girl that hated being physically active from high school on.  

Over the past two weekends, I have watched friends accomplish their goal of running a marathon.  Seeing all their pictures and reading their stories has renewed my love for running.  They have reignited my passion and inspired me to reach for my goal.  

To say my motivation has been lacking over the past 8 months is an understatement.  I have viewed running as a chore.  Just one more thing that I needed to do.  It was no longer something I got to do.  Running and I were on break.  Much like Ross and Rachel.  I cheated on it by being a slug.  It wasn't pretty.  

Now I can't wait until Tuesday!  I want to run. Now. 

I have my passion back.  I want to be out there pushing my own limits and seeing what this body can accomplish when I push it.  This isn't going to be easy.  It will test every inch of my being but I need this challenge more now than ever.  I will be a marathoner in January!

I'm back with a renewed sense of purpose.  

Dopey you will be my bitch!  Got it little dude!!